The early years and all through the teen years children need to know you love them, you are proud of them and you have their back. Just after my son’s graduation, my wife and I received a letter of thanks. He was grateful for all the positive support, guidance and most of all he was happy to know that we had his back.
Having your child’s back is providing them with a web of trust. They need to know you are the foundation of love they can lean on when they are afraid, feel alone or have problems. Children and teens want to know you are willing to give them social support not only in their everyday needs like food, clothing and discipline they also require your non-judgemental emotional support.
I think the worse thing we can do for our kids is to assume they know we have their back. In this fast pace world of busy parents, single parents, divorce or loss of a parent, a child might be afraid to share their feeling or let parents know they have a bullying problem. They may feel the parent is too stressed and angry or that mom or dad really doesn’t care.
Here are some of the ways to remind your child you care:
1) Be sensitive to the child’s/teen’s needs
2) Have clear behavioral expectations
3) Listen and give advice if they ask for it.
4) Be constistant with the rules and expectations
5) Never stop telling them you love them and how you appreciate them in your life
“Working in combination, parental support and parental control are believed to foster children’s emotional, psychological and behavioral well-being and development.” (Rothrauff et al., 2009 and Bully Free Schools: Circle of Support Resource Guide for Trainers, Dee Lindengerger)
Your kids need to know we’ve got their back, don’t let them down.
Copyright Richard Paul 2013