Over the last couple years I have noticed a drop in Bully Prevention School Assembly requests.
Most schools are calling saying they have had enough bullying programs in their school and that it is time to try something different.
I was at a school today and as I was setting up my equipment a teacher said she was so happy to see that they finally brought back a bully prevention school assembly. She said it has been over three years and she has noticed that the bullying is starting to rise. She said she hopes I can remind the kids how wrong it is to bully other students.
Parents and teachers and assembly planners please don’t forget to book a bully prevention program this school year and every school year. It may longer be the so called fad but I agree with the teacher I met today that students need to be reminded again and again that disrespect, teasing and hurting the feelings of another student is unacceptable behavior.
Richard Paul
Copyright 2016
I have never been bullied but i am a 9th grade doing a research project about where bulling happens the most. When i do see bulling happen in my school the bully usually wants is the kid to react in some way so if you don’t react they don’t normally target you they also don’t target the kids who shut the bully down in another meaning is if the kid sticks up for themselves in a non caring way – if that makes sense, don’t show the bully that you care that they are bothering you and they will normally look for someone else to bother.
It is about time!. Kids need to know that it is okay to press charges. PARENTS need to be supportive of them pressing charges. Law enforcement and district attorney’s need to be supportive of investigating and prosecuting the charges. School administrators need to let the students know that pressing charges is an option and if asked, call the police for the student.
Press the charges and let it all be sorted out in court. Some students will think twice about bullying others.
Ham
Really great message. I wish now the schools will decide to act on behalf of those being bullied or harassed to address the issue, problems and perpetrators, and I wish we’ll pay more attention to those at risk for depression and possible suicide.
Too often parents, friends, schools miss the real signs (my sister and brother-in-law did) to find out the truth too late with a failed attempt or worse a successful one. These take years to happen and often giving obvious signs that counseling won’t change. We need to find avenues for those at risk to speak in private without fear of the often bad reactions by parents. We have to change the environment of those at risk than just them, otherwise it doesn’t get better until they leave one way or the other.
Any wonder why there are so many run away? It sure solves that situation, but not them, only their environment. We need safe environments for those at risk, home, school, public, etc. Otherwise, it’s received as just another empty promise .Anyway, thanks for the link.
Briantly
I have been asked to be interviewed by a Christian Broadcast program. I plan to share the information I share with parents and students in my anti-aggression, bully prevention programs at schools and for school districts and conference events.
The discussion on the program will be bullying in the schools. I have asked my mentor and good friend Nancy Buyle from the MISD to offer up some things I should share on the program, and she wrote me this quick paragraph I would like to share with you.
I agree with Nancy we need to stop focusing on the word bully and or whether or not some one is bullying and instead get to the root of what is causing the behavior and work to change it.
Nancy and I present programs together on how to work toward changing behavior.
Students are not reporting bullying in the school because they believe the school will not doing anything about it or even worse they will end up being the target of bullying.
At your school you have to constantly reinforce why it is important to report bullying behavior.
Every week you must remind them that the only way the school will be bully free is if they get involved.
You need to also remind them the school policy and what will happen to the students the choose to have aggressive behavior toward other students.
At one school district they have this clear policy in place:
Only school personnel directly involved in the investigation of the complaint or responsible for remedying any violation will be provided access to the identity of the complaining student(s) and student witnesses, and then only to the extent necessary to effectively deal with the situation.
Hopefully this school district will remind these student many times why it is important to speak up against bullying.
Richard Paul
As a bully prevention speaker for schools, teacher-in-service and parent night programs I have heard it all. Not only is there a confusion between bullying and conflict there are also many assumptions about bullying.
Some still think:
It is part of growing up
Makes weak kids stronger Only boys are bullies
Girls are too cute and dainty to be bullies
Only bad kids are bullies
When I share these as a bully prevention speaker for conferences or teacher-in-service or parent night programs the audience members either shake their heads or laugh. At many of the schools I have spoken to for their school assemblies principals have actually shared some of these assumptions with me. It is hard to believe in 2015 some still think it will make weak kids stronger or it’s part of growing up. What do you think?
www.richardpaul.com
I recently had the opportunity to speak to law enforcement and school administration leaders.
We discussed the difference between bullying and conflict, why they are different, and why they need to be handled differently.
Listed below is the information we shared:
Most Conflicts:
NO ROOM FOR AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR!
With Simple Conflict:
Bullying:
NO COMPROMISE, and there is NO working it out!
When I heard a middle school principal says to his students:
“Obviously we tell them to try to work with the bully for a while.” Junior High School Principal
I am not sure school leaders and administrators really understand the difference between bullying and conflict. Because if we say these words to a Target of an Aggressor or person bullying them we are not offering them help we are sending them back to the wolves.
At the workshop when I asked the attendees what they would say or do to help a Target here was their responses:
Right Things to Say Wrong Things to Say
Tell Someone Ignore Them
Show No Reaction Join Sports
Comforting Words Just tell them to stop it
Listen to them offer to support them Confront
Draw attention YELL
Peace Circle Referral
Tell a Teacher
The best advice shared at the workshop:
“Address the root causes for the bullying with the aggressor (bully).”
Let’s keep this discussion going please send in or email me your comments: Richard@richardpaul.com
Copyright Richard Paul 2015
I presented a program in North Dakota and the students sent me some letters following the presentation.
“I learned that it is not alright to make fun of people.
Your message touched the hearts of many mine included!” – Rosie
“I learned how to not pick on someone.
I think other people learned that too.” – Josephine
“I learned how to peacefully stick up for myself and how to stick up for others when they are getting bullied.”- Nairah
“I didn’t think your hand was weird, I thought it was cool, I mean I have a best friend that doesn’t have her right hand.” – Molly
“You thought us to do different stuff when you are about to confront a bully
Give them eye contact:
“Thank you for coming to our school,” -Donna
“I learned mostly everything you taught and yes the school is better, you changed it. There is still a little bullying but we now know how to peacefully work through it.” -Justin
“I used to be a bully but not that bad. Then when I saw your program you changed my mind. I did you get to own your company? Did you start it yourself? I think when you came to the school the students here learned to stop the bullying.” –Kyle
“The one thing I learned is to give the person that is bullying eye contact. The way to stop bullying is to step up and report it. School is going to be better because people are going to work together to make sure there is no bullying.” –Avery
“You taught me that I’m not perfect and that is ok. No matter what I think by us doing what you taught us we can become better students and I can become a better person. I think what you taught me will make life easier.” –Scrah
“I learned things I didn’t know about bullying. I also learned that when you’re talking to someone look them in the eyes and not their feet. When you look at their feet and talk it makes them feel bad. I want to make this school a bully free place.” -Kimberly
“You inspired me to make a Stop the Bullying poster and it looks cool in the school.” –Parke
“I’ve been through a lot of things this past week and I’d think of what you would say and it helps. Thanks for that! Keep doing what you’re doing.” – Anjeni