Phone: 800-579-8051     email:  

Entries Tagged as 'What Can We Do About Bullying'

Here is an article about our school programs

Here I an article that was written about our school programs.pulaski-county-journal-090413-large

Schools Need to Continue the Bully Free School Message

Over the last couple years I have noticed a drop in Bully Prevention School Assembly requests.
Most schools are calling saying they have had enough bullying programs in their school and that it is time to try something different.

I was at a school today and as I was setting up my equipment a teacher said she was so happy to see that they finally brought back a bully prevention school assembly. She said it has been over three years and she has noticed that the bullying is starting to rise. She said she hopes I can remind the kids how wrong it is to bully other students.

Parents and teachers and assembly planners please don’t forget to book a bully prevention program this school year and every school year. It may longer be the so called fad but I agree with the teacher I met today that students need to be reminded again and again that disrespect, teasing and hurting the feelings of another student is unacceptable behavior.

Richard Paul

Copyright 2016




Katy is Doing Bullying in Schools Research….

I have never been bullied but i am a 9th grade doing a research project about where bulling happens the most. When i do see bulling happen in my school the bully usually wants is the kid to react in some way so if you don’t react they don’t normally target you they also don’t target the kids who shut the bully down in another meaning is if the kid sticks up for themselves in a non caring way – if that makes sense, don’t show the bully that you care that they are bothering you and they will normally look for someone else to bother.

It’s About Time! a comment from a reader….

It is about time!. Kids need to know that it is okay to press charges. PARENTS need to be supportive of them pressing charges. Law enforcement and district attorney’s need to be supportive of investigating and prosecuting the charges. School administrators need to let the students know that pressing charges is an option and if asked, call the police for the student.

Press the charges and let it all be sorted out in court. Some students will think twice about bullying others.



Message from one of our readers…

Really great message. I wish now the schools will decide to act on behalf of those being bullied or harassed to address the issue, problems and perpetrators, and I wish we’ll pay more attention to those at risk for depression and possible suicide.

Too often parents, friends, schools miss the real signs (my sister and brother-in-law did) to find out the truth too late with a failed attempt or worse a successful one. These take years to happen and often giving obvious signs that counseling won’t change. We need to find avenues for those at risk to speak in private without fear of the often bad reactions by parents. We have to change the environment of those at risk than just them, otherwise it doesn’t get better until they leave one way or the other.

Any wonder why there are so many run away? It sure solves that situation, but not them, only their environment. We need safe environments for those at risk, home, school, public, etc. Otherwise, it’s received as just another empty promise .Anyway, thanks for the link.


Let’s Take The Focus Off The Word Bully



I have been asked to be interviewed by a Christian Broadcast program.  I plan to share the information I share with parents and students in my anti-aggression, bully prevention programs at schools and for school districts and conference events.

The discussion on the program will be bullying in the schools. I have asked my mentor and good friend Nancy Buyle from the MISD to offer up some things I should share on the program, and she wrote me this quick paragraph I would like to share with you.


I would love to impart if is appropriate the fact that 60% of our students/youth do not let us know that they are being mistreated—schools don’t know what they are not informed of. There is way too much focus on “bullying” these days—Bullying is a very specific dynamic—and you know it well…power imbalance, intent and repeated! Children do not yet have the brain capacity to most effectively deal with inappropriate behavior and the brain in youth read emotions very different than adults…and bullying is a very judgmental term and it may be mistreatment but not bullying. We need to teach school staff and students how to develop the skills necessary to negotiate this mistreatment.  We are built to connect and have relationship. “Hurt people, hurt people”.

 Nancy Buyle

I agree with Nancy we need to stop focusing on the word bully and or whether or not some one is bullying and instead get to the root of what is causing the behavior and work to change it.

Nancy and I present programs together on how to work toward changing behavior.

Most schools and parents want a quick fix but that isn’t going to happen because it takes time to learn the behavior and time to unlearn it too.


Students Do Not Report Bullying




Students are not reporting bullying in the school because they believe the school will not doing anything about it or even worse they will end up being the target of bullying.

At your school you have to constantly reinforce why it is important to report bullying behavior.

Every week you must remind them that the only way the school will be bully free is if they get involved.

You need to also remind them the school policy and what will happen to the students the choose to have aggressive behavior toward other students.

At one school district they have this clear policy in place:

The identity of a student who reports bullying, hazing or aggressive behavior, as well as those students who provide information during an investigation will remain confidential to the extent possible and to the extent allowable by law.

Only school personnel directly involved in the investigation of the complaint or responsible for remedying any violation will be provided access to the identity of the complaining student(s) and student witnesses, and then only to the extent necessary to effectively deal with the situation.

Hopefully this school district will remind these student many times why it is important to speak up against bullying.

Richard Paul

Assumptions About Bullying



As a bully prevention speaker for schools, teacher-in-service and parent night programs I have heard it all. Not only is there a confusion between bullying and conflict there are also many assumptions about bullying.

Some still think:

It is part of growing up

Makes weak kids stronger Only boys are bullies

Girls are too cute and dainty to be bullies

Only bad kids are bullies


When I share these as a bully prevention speaker for conferences or teacher-in-service or parent night programs the audience members either shake their heads or laugh. At many of the schools I have spoken to for their school assemblies principals have actually shared some of these assumptions with me. It is hard to believe in 2015 some still think it will make weak kids stronger or it’s part of growing up. What do you think?


The Right and Wrong About Bullying

I recently had the opportunity to speak to law enforcement and school administration leaders.

We discussed the difference between bullying and conflict, why they are different, and why they need to be handled differently.

Listed below is the information we shared:

Picture2  Conflict:

  • Equal power
  • Happens occasionally
  • Accidental
  • Not serious
  • Equal emotional reaction

Most Conflicts:

  • You can see and hear what’s going on.
  • You should always monitor the situation.
  • If you see the problem escalating, it’s time to step in.


With Simple Conflict:

  • Simple Conflict involves playful banter back-and forth between both parties.
  • Simple Conflict is accompanied by a friendly tone of voice and laughter.
  • Simple Conflict is accompanied by affectionate gestures or expressions.
  • Simple Conflict brings people closer and encourages friendships.
  • Simple Conflict sometimes helps to lighten a tense or anger situation.
  • In most cases Simple Conflict does not lead to physical confrontations.



  • Bullying is not playful
  • Bullying is one sided
  • There is no compromise

NO COMPROMISE, and there is NO working it out!

When I heard a middle school principal says to his students:

“Obviously we tell them to try to work with the bully for a while.” Junior High School Principal

I am not sure school leaders and administrators really understand the difference between bullying and conflict. Because if we say these words to a Target of an Aggressor or person bullying them we are not offering them help we are sending them back to the wolves.

At the workshop when I asked the attendees what they would say or do to help a Target here was their responses:

Right Things to Say                                      Wrong Things to Say

Tell Someone                                                Ignore Them

Show No Reaction                                         Join Sports

Comforting Words                                        Just tell them to stop it

Listen to them offer to support them       Confront

Draw attention YELL

Peace Circle Referral

Tell a Teacher

The best advice shared at the workshop:

“Address the root causes for the bullying with the aggressor (bully).”

Let’s keep this discussion going please send in or email me your comments:

Copyright Richard Paul 2015

Letters from Students

I presented a program in North Dakota and the students sent me some letters following the presentation.

“I learned that it is not alright to make fun of people.

Your message touched the hearts of many mine included!”  – Rosie


“I learned how to not pick on someone.

I think other people learned that too.” – Josephine

Self Esteem

“I learned how to peacefully stick up for myself and how to stick up for others when they are getting bullied.”- Nairah


“I didn’t think your hand was weird, I thought it was cool, I mean I have a best friend that doesn’t have her right hand.” – Molly


“You thought us to do different stuff when you are about to confront a bully

Give them eye contact:

  1. Say STOP IT!
  2. Stand 2 feet away

“Thank you for coming to our school,” -Donna


“I learned mostly everything you taught and yes the school is better, you changed it. There is still a little bullying but we now know how to peacefully work through it.” -Justin

“I used to be a bully but not that bad. Then when I saw your program you changed my mind. I did you get to own your company? Did you start it yourself? I think when you came to the school the students here learned to stop the bullying.” –Kyle

“The one thing I learned is to give the person that is bullying eye contact. The way to stop bullying is to step up and report it. School is going to be better because people are going to work together to make sure there is no bullying.” –Avery

“You taught me that I’m not perfect and that is ok. No matter what I think by us doing what you taught us we can become better students and I can become a better person. I think what you taught me will make life easier.” –Scrah

“I learned things I didn’t know about bullying. I also learned that when you’re talking to someone look them in the eyes and not their feet. When you look at their feet and talk it makes them feel bad. I want to make this school a bully free place.” -Kimberly

“You inspired me to make a Stop the Bullying poster and it looks cool in the school.” –Parke

“I’ve been through a lot of things this past week and I’d think of what you would say and it helps. Thanks for that! Keep doing what you’re doing.” – Anjeni

I learned there is a reason when are here. We just got to keep doing what we’re doing because we are all awesome. We all have something to share.” -Chance