The Richard Paul Blog

Here is a great link to a great ABC News, article on Cyber Bullying:

 http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=472315&page=1

Please let us know what you think and share it with others.

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Ah yes, the good old days of education. I personally do not remember any cases of bullying. However I used to stand up to the worst kids in my school, and convey the message “listen do not even dare to lay a finger on me or your … is going to be in such trouble”.

My point is that people have to learn how to stand up for themselves in a productive manner. Or else a bully will bite. I do not condone bullying and the extremes of today, but for all the Vics out there.

“If you let someone dominate you, you’re just as guilty as the bully, so next time you are confronted by your bully or bullies, tell them “Stop calling me names…It really hurts me when you call me those names. Can you stop?”

I used to be part of a Peer Conflict Mediation team in school. And I will tell you it works. About 100 percent of the cases you get all of them come to a solution. A bully in definition does not understand boundaries. And you have to teach them that there conduct is affecting them, others around, and it clearly needs to stop.

I know bullies are mean, aggressive and have no boundaries. But as long as you the Vic stay silent the bully will bully. Now I know Vics everywhere are saying how the… do I do this. Well bring light to the situation, let whomever is bullying you know are not going to stay silent, and the next time it happens “I am going to let the principal know.” Bullies will bully as long as you stay in the dark.

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Children who see other children being bullied in most cases are afraid to speak out. They think if they say something the bully can turn on them or that they can be his next victim. There are studies that have shown how some children who are spectators of a bullying situation have joined in on the bullying too.

I read a story of a child who witnessed a bully situation, told her parents what she saw and both the mom and dad told her not to tell anyone or “stay out of it.” Our children need to be taught what to do in a bullying situation even if they are not the victim. Like I have have told thousands of students at the many schools I visit each year; “A hero is someone who hears something, tells someone and puts an end to it.”

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Do you know you make a difference? 

You  make a difference in some-one’s life and you probably don’t even know it.  It could be a child, parent, co-worker, friend or someone you say hi to on the elevator.

I was walking out of a 7-11 and I was holding the door open for a woman walking out. I smiled and said “I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!”  She stopped and looked at me for a moment and said “Thank you I really needed to hear that today.”

So be on the look out because you could actually be making a difference and may not even know it.

Share your stories!

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I was at the bank yesterday and over heard a police officer talking about a thirteen year old, middle school student that was picked up for carrying a loaded gun to school. He was planning on shooting a friend who was bugging him all the time.

Luckily a young lady went to the  principals office and told them that she heard the boy bragging about his gun and what he planned to do. The school called the authorities and they were able to pick him  up before anyone got hurt.

Get involved ! If you hear of anything like this or see another kid getting teased all the time don’t just stand their get involved and tell someone before it’s to late.

 Visit our web site www.richardpaul.com

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Why do kids bully other kids? I asked a group of young campers at the Beverly Hills Club, Beverly Hills, Michigan, summer safety day camp for children. To my surprise each camper had a different reason why kids bully other kids.

Here is a list of there answers:

Why do kids bully other kids?

They are jealous of other kids.
They learn from their dad how to be mean.
Other kids taught them to be bullies.
They have problems at home.
They like being mean to other kids.
No one is ever nice to them and that is why they bully.
Bullies have low self-esteem.
Bullies want to be better than everyone else.
Bullies are afraid of other kids.
They think no one likes them.
Their dad never takes them to McDonalds.

Why do you think kids bully other kids?

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In a book entitled “Bully Free Classroom, by Allan L. Beane, PHD he says: “To little supervision of children and adolescents can contribute to the development of bullying behavior.” He goes on to say that Children need to get the message that bullying behavior is not okay.”

My hobby is training dogs and I have found that dogs like kids like to push the limits. I just recently purchased a Golden Retriever puppy and she likes to torment her older brother a White German Sepherd mix who is two years older than her. She will bit, kick, scratch and he will do the same. I have to step in at times to remind them to play fair or give them time away from one another. My children also have had their moments where I need to step in to break it up. It is up to us as parents and care givers to not only break up a potential bully situation but also teach them that anyone can end up being a bully if they don’t watch what they say and do.

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