Motivational Speaker and Author Richard Paul

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, ‘Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a
hug?’

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, ‘Of course you may!’ and she gave me a giant
squeeze.

‘Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?’ I asked.
She jokingly replied, ‘I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…’

‘No seriously,’ I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on
this challenge at her age.

‘I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!’ she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never
forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, ‘I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.’

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ‘We do not stop playing because we are
old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to
have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive
thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up
by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did
not do. The only people who fear death are those with
regrets.’

She concluded her speech by courageously singing ‘The Rose.’

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they’ll really enjoy it!

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we
give.

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will
bring you through it.

Pass this message to 7 people except you and me. You will receive a miracle tomorrow
(if you don’t think so…look out
your window when you wake in the morning and think about it )

‘Good friends are like stars………You don’t always see them, but you know they are
always there.’

 

 

 

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‘The  happiest people don’t have the best of everything…..they just  make the best of everything.’ 

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Carl  was a quiet man. He didn’t talk much.  He would always  greet you with a big smile and a firm handshake.  Even  after living in our neighborhood for over 50 years, no one  could  really say they knew him very  well.

Before  his retirement, he took the bus to work each morning. The lone  sight of him walking down the street often worried us. He had a  slight limp from a bullet wound received in WWII.

Watching  him, we worried that although he had survived WWII, he may not  make it through our changing uptown neighborhood with its  ever-increasing random violence, gangs, and drug  activity.

When  he saw the flyer at our local church asking for volunteers for  caring for the gardens behind the minister’s residence, he  responded in his characteristically unassuming manner. Without  fanfare, he just signed up.

 

He was  well into his 87th year when the very thing we had always feared  finally happened.

He was  just finishing his watering for the day when three gang members  approached him. Ignoring their attempt to intimidate him, he  simply asked, ‘Would you like a drink from the  hose?’

 

The  tallest and toughest-looking of the three said, ‘Yeah, sure,’  with a malevolent little smile.

 

As  Carl offered the hose to him, the other two grabbed Carl’s  arm,  throwing him down. As the hose snaked crazily over  the ground, dousing everything in its way, Carl’s  assailants stole his retirement watch and his wallet, and  then fled.

 

Carl  tried to get himself up, but he had been thrown down on his bad  leg. He lay there trying to gather himself as the minister came  running to help him.

 

Although  the minister had witnessed the attack from his window, he  couldn’t get there fast enough to stop  it.

 

‘Carl,  are you okay? Are you hurt?’ the minister kept asking as he  helped Carl to his feet.

 

Carl  just passed a hand over his brow and sighed, shaking his  head.  ‘Just some punk kids. I hope they’ll wise-up  someday.’

His  wet clothes clung to his slight frame as he bent to pick up the  hose.  He adjusted the nozzle again and started to  water.

 

Confused  and a little concerned, the minister asked, ‘Carl, what are you  doing?’

 

‘I’ve  got to finish my watering. It’s been very dry lately,’ came the  calm reply.

 

Satisfying  himself that Carl really was all right, the minister  could only marvel. Carl was a man from a different time and  place.

& nbsp;

A few  weeks later the three returned. Just as before their threat  was unchallenged.
Carl again offered them a drink from  his hose.

 

This  time they didn’t rob him. They wrenched the hose from his hand  and drenched him head to foot in the icy  water.

 

When  they had finished their humiliation of him, they sauntered  off down the street, throwing catcalls and curses, falling  over one another laughing at the hilarity of what they had  just done.

 

Carl  just watched them. Then he turned toward the warmth giving  sun,   picked  up his hose, and went on with his  watering.

 

The  summer was quickly fading into fall, Carl was doing some tilling  when he was  startled by the sudden approach of someone behind him. He  stumbled and  fell into some evergreen branches.

 

As he  struggled to regain his footing, he turned to see the tall  leader of his  summer tormentors reaching down for him. He braced himself for  the expected attack.

 

‘Don’t  worry old man, I’m not gonna hurt you this  time.’

 

The  young man spoke softly, still offering the tattooed and scarred  hand to Carl. As he helped Carl get up, the man pulled a  cr umpled bag from his pocket and handed it to  Carl.

 

‘What’s  this?’ Carl asked.

 

 ‘It’s  your stuff,’ the man explained. ‘It’s your stuff back.   Even the money in your wallet.’

 

‘I  don’t understand,’ Carl said. ‘Why would you help me now?’   The man shifted his feet, seeming embarrassed and ill at ease.  ’I learned something from you,’ he said. ‘I ran with that  gang and hurt people like you . We picked you because  you were old and we knew we could do it. But every time we  came and did something to you, instead of yelling and fighting  back, you tried to give us a drink. You didn’t hate us for &n bsp;hating you. You kept showing love against our  hate.’

 

He  stopped for a moment. ‘I couldn’t sleep after we stole your  stuff, so here it is back..’

 

He  paused for another awkward moment, not knowing what more there  was to say. ‘That bag’s my way of saying thanks for  straightening me out,  I guess.’ And with that, he walked  off down the street.

 

Carl  looked down at the sack in his hands and gingerly opened it. He  took out his retirement watch and put it back on his wrist.  Opening his wallet, he checked for his wedding photo. He  gazed for a moment at the young bride who still smiled back  at him from all those years ago.

 
< BR>He  died one cold day after Christmas that  winter.

 

Many  people attended his funeral in spite of the weather.  In  particular the minister noticed a tall young man that he  didn’t know sitting quietly in a distant corner of the  church.

 

The  minister spoke of Carl’s garden as a lesson in life. In a voice  made thick with unshed tears, he said, ‘Do your best and  make your garden as beautiful as you can. We will never  forget Carl and his garden.’

 

The  following spring another flyer went up. It read:  ‘Person  needed to care for Carl’s garden..

 

The  flyer went unnoticed by the busy parishioners until one day when  a knock was heard at the minister’s office  door.

Opening  the door, the minister saw a pair of scarred and tattooed  hands holding the flyer. ‘I believe this is my job, if  you’ll have me,’ the young man said.

The  minister recognized him as the same young man who had returned  the stolen watch and wallet to Carl.

He  knew that Carl’s kindness had turned this man’s life around. As  the minister handed him the keys to the garden shed, he  said, ‘Yes, go take care of Carl’s garden and honour  him.’

 

The  man went to work and, over the next severa l years, he tended  the flowers and vegetables just as Carl had  done…

 

In  that time, he went to college, got married, and became a  prominent member of the community. But he never forgot his  promise to Carl’s memory and kept the garden as beautiful  as he thought Carl would have kept it.

 

One  day he approached the new minister and told him that he couldn’t  care for the garden any longer. He explained with a shy and  happy smile, ‘My wife just had a baby boy last night, and she’s  bringing him home on Saturday.’

 

‘Well,  congratulations!’ said the minister, as he was handed the  garden shed keys. ‘That’s wonderful! What’s the baby’s  name?’ 

‘Carl,’  he replied..

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Jericho Public Schools, New York have put into place an awesome anti-bullying character building theme in there schools. Both students and faculty of the elementary and middles schools are working together as a team to encourage students and staff to speak up and end the bullying.

 

They have implemented art projects with anti bully messages and posters to reinforce positive behavior. Student also pledge to “be an up stander and not a by stander.”

The emphasis is to promote self-esteem, respect and student anti-bullying involvement.

 

Share some thing your school district is doing.

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Recently I presented at a conference in San Antonio, Texas, to a group of awesome middles school teachers and administrators. We each shared some tips and suggestions that can help defuse a bullying situation.

 

We talked about many techniques that can help victims of a bully and some things that don’t work. We all agreed that eye contact is one of the best ways to stand up to a bully and  how it allows the victims to express confidence and self-esteem.

 

Another suggestion was to select three students from the class room to act out a bullying situation, allowing students to see how it looks and feels to be a victim of a bully or group of bullies.  The social studies teacher explained how she has two students pretend to be the gossip girls and the third student stands center stage listening to all the bad things they are saying about her. Then she opens it up to the rest of the class to discuss their reaction to what they just witnessed.  She said that nine times out of ten, the students either share how wrong they think it is to talk about another or offer of tips to the victim.

 

Another suggestion was to bring the alleged bully and victim together to talk it out in front of a small panel of students and social worker or teacher working as mediators to help find a common ground and put and end to the bullying.

 

Each of these suggestions has been implemented and has helped bring an end to bullying problems in their schools. If you have suggestions that have worked at your school please respond to this blog.

 

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“You choose your attitude!  Believe it or not your attitude is not dependent on the events in your life.” Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D | Positive Psychology It is easy to blame our co-workers, spouse or relatives but as Harry Truman  onece said, “the buck stops here.”  or there’s no-one to blame but ourselve for our poor attitude. I have heard other people say ”she makes me so mad! or it is their fault I feel this way.”  The only one that can make you mad is you. Your poor attitude is nobodies fault but your own. So if you want to be ducky you need to get up in the morning and set a goal to be ducky. Monitor your thoughts and if you see you’re slipping down the poor pitiful me path change directions. A positive attitude is gives you energy and keeps you healthy. So if you want to be healthy be ducky!

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This is a post from a student: 

“I used to be bullied at school. I felt like killing myself.”

This is why we need to help the victims.

We need to educate the faculty and get the students and parents involved.

We can save a life!

What do you think needs to be done?

What does your school do to stop bullying?

What are you doing to get involved? 

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The reality’s of today for teens being bullied is much more harsh. As I have experienced with my daughter,now 17.For teens,bullying may start from a name calling but branches into cyber bullying and public humiliation.A bully adds his/her friends to their mix and soon your teen is bullied by not one but by several teens.There is an endless network for bullies to use and for the bullied to endure. Is there a way to avoid this? NO. There is no,”How to raise your child NOT to be Bullied” method. There is a ” How to raise your child NOT to be a Bully” method:RESPECT.

Do you agree that there are no books out there for the victim?

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Studies have shown that the best defense in a bullying situation is self-esteem. Cheer on your child, always let them know that you appreciate them in your life.

I just finished a book about a 19 year old young man who ran his first marathon in Chicago. He and his mentors set a goal to finish in less that five hours, he finished in 4:59 seconds. The young man was ecstatic and felt as if nothing could stop him from living his dreams.

If your child isn’t outgoing don’t try to make her do things you like to do. Instead find out what she likes then support her and cheer her on.  Let her succeed on her own and watch her self-esteem blossom.

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My friend Eugene Clark was telling me about a negative waitress at a restaurant he and his wife went to over the weekend. He said, “she was so grumpy that I could actually feel her grumpiness when I walked threw the door.”  “A real downer,” he added.   Eugene also explained  that by meeting this negative person he now knows that he never wants to be like her. He doesn’t want others to feel uneasy around him like he was around that waitress

  Every morning we are given a choice to be ducky (happy) or miserable. If you’re thinking about being miserable,  try thinking about the last time you met a grumpy person and how you felt around them. I think you’ll want to be ducky. 

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