Boosting Self-Esteem

For many years I presented my character building educational assemblies at a school in Detroit, Michigan.
The principal’s #1 goal for each school year was to promote and boost self-esteem for both the students and the faculty. Every year I was amazed at the way he corrected poor behavior; he didn’t degrade the student or embarrass them. Instead he would say things like, “Billy I know you are too smart not to understand the instructions” or, “ I believe the greatest students are the ones who listen and follow the rules.”

The halls were plastered with positive/self-uplifting posters and pictures. Even the restrooms had affirming statements reminding students of their greatness. He also worked hard to make sure the teachers and office staff displayed and optimistic outlook. He once remarked: “If we can’t walk the talk then how can we expect it of our students too.”

Over the past twenty years I have visited hundreds of schools throughout United States, it is my belief that the best students are the ones who are given the opportunity to shine. Instead of pushing them down the faculty, parents and staff need to work together to raise an awareness of self-respect and the benefits of positive thinking. In an article written by Robert Reasoner from the National Association for Self-Esteem it says: “individuals with defensive or low self-esteem typically focus on trying to prove themselves or impress others. They tend to use others for their own gain.” If we want a school that is free from negative behavior we must as parents, teachers and staff display an optimistic outlook. This is not to say that we live our lives in a bubble or unrealistic frame of mind when it comes to hurt feelings or problems. Instead we should show compassion and respect through listening and understanding. In time students will learn how to be respectful and compassionate to their fellow classmates and themselves. I believe the key to success is not to just say the words but rather to live them and make them part of the daily routine.

Robert Reasoner goes on to say that self-esteem “cannot be attained by merely reciting boosters or affirmations and one cannot give others authentic self-esteem.” I agree, we need to walk the talk and demonstrate to our kids what it is to be positive. Display self-loving behavior in addition to the boosters and affirmations. In time we will see those children mimic those same behavior.

Here are some self-esteem boosting ideas for your home or school:

1) Walk the talk, walk the talk, walk the talk
2) Display posters that promote and affirm self-worth
3) Have students make signs to tape on their desks with their names and three things they love to do.
4) For one of the writing assignments, have them write a story of what they like about themselves.
5) Daily greet them with a smile and remind them how valuable they are.
6) Speak louder when they to well and softer when they behave poorly.
7) Put a positive not in their desk or lunch box.
8) Tell them that you are proud of them.
9) Look in the mirror daily and remind yourself how great you are.
10) Like Robert Frost “ Make your bed and make up your mind that today is a great day.

Copyright Richard Paul 2004